My Story with Basketball
“Let’s talk about your options”, my head coach said as I sat in my college’s varsity athletic training room, surrounded by coaching and physical therapy staff, holding the disc of the MRI that showed I had a torn ACL, MCL, lateral meniscus, and medial meniscus in my left knee from an incident not 5 minutes into the first quarter of the previous week’s game. It was November 2018, the beginning of my final season of university basketball, and I had just spent the past weekend coming to the painful realization that my senior season — and my basketball career — was over.
“Options?” I asked, utterly confused. “I have options?”
It turns out that, yes, I did have options. Per NCAA (National Collegiate Athletic Association) rules, I had sustained this injury early enough in the season wherein I retained eligibility. I could get surgery, rehabilitate my knee while finishing up my bachelor’s degree, and play the following year as master’s student.
But this is not how I planned my life going. It was my final year of college, and I was right in the middle of preparing for Ph.D. programs, preparing to move back to New York after four years in Vermont… essentially, preparing for the next stage of my life. And now I was supposed to throw all those plans away?
What ensued was a very tiresome year of juggling Ph.D. program visits and interviews, finding basketball programs at universities where I could do my M.S. degree, a huge knee surgery, and very painful and time consuming physical therapy… all the while still serving as a second-year captain of my team, attending every practice, lift, game, and film session whilst being forced to sit on the sidelines in a leg brace, and finishing up my senior year workload balancing degrees in Biochemistry, French, and Religious Studies. I was surrounded by friends and classmates having the time of their lives during our senior year, but I was in a mental battle, facing a decision I had to make between two different paths: either find a new university to play another year of basketball at or give up the sport and begin my Ph.D. program.
When the time came to make a decision, inundated with NCAA rules and regulations, completely exhausted, and emotionally drained by the sport and the association I had poured so much into, I decided to forgo the opportunity to play another year, move back home to New York, and begin my Ph.D. program.
And while they tell us to live with no regrets, and while I am so happy now with the way my life has panned out, I wouldn’t be being honest if I had said a small part of me didn’t always regret this decision.
Let’s rewind… my name is Samantha, and I am from Long Island, New York. Sports have always been an enormous part of my life. Growing up, I played football (or, as we Americans say, soccer), baseball, softball, and lacrosse, but by the time I got to high school, volleyball and basketball were the sports I was taking the most seriously (that is, the sports I was considering playing in college and was getting recruited for).
The college athletic recruitment process in the U.S. is very confusing, stressful, and quite business-like. After years of an exhausting recruitment, I ended up playing basketball at a college in the northeastern part of the country. Despite my hesitations in the beginning, attending this university ended up being one of the best decisions of my life. I had an extraordinary experience there, both as a student and as an athlete. We didn’t win much, however, I got to play the sport I love in a great and highly competitive conference, and — what I am so grateful for — made lifelong relationships and friends.
I was so looking forward to playing my final year and achieving the goals I had set for myself when my injury in the beginning of the season derailed all those hopes. I had surgery in December 2018 and was forced to watch my last season of basketball go on without me.
I emotionally struggled a lot in those following months. I showed up to practice every day with a smile on my face — because “that’s what a leader does” — but deep down, I was heartbroken. I was angry. I was guilty for being praised for “being strong” and putting on a smile that no one knew was fake. But what I felt most, ultimately, was alone. I graduated that May 2019, moved into Manhattan, and began my “new life” as. Ph.D. student… no longer an athlete for the first time in my life, competitive basketball well and truly behind me, no matter how painful it was to admit.
The following years were an odd mix of emotions pertaining to basketball. I was missing it, of course, but was still exhausted from it. I followed my college team and conference play quite closely for the 2019-2020 season, but because I was barely a year out from surgery and not quite myself, I didn’t feel like I was “missing out” because I still really couldn’t physically play.
Then, the pandemic started, and college athletics in the U.S. were put on pause. It wasn’t until after a few years, when college sports finally resumed, that I finally came to terms with just how heartbroken I still was over my own college career ending the way it did.
To provide some context, the 2022-2023 and 2023-2024 college basketball seasons — remarkably, that is, women’s college basketball seasons — were plastered all over American news and social media. Coverage of the WNBA skyrocketed in tow. Women’s basketball seemed to take over the country… this, of course, having to do with the historic career of Caitlin Clark, as well as the performances of other talented players and teams throughout the NCAA and WNBA. As a lifelong basketball player, you’d think I’d be thrilled about this newfound excitement around women’s basketball. However, I became incredibly jaded, and honestly, pretty sad.
It was at this point, during this explosion of women’s basketball in 2023 and 2024 — when college athletics were in full-swing again and moving on without me; when I was recovered from surgery and able to play with nowhere to go — that I realized just how delayed my goodbye to basketball had been due both my injury and the pandemic, and just how emotionally hurt I still was. The sudden surge in the conversation around women’s basketball reignited a lot of my unresolved emotions — my injury, a sense of “unfinished business”, and a deep sorrow that I never really got to say a proper goodbye to the sport that had been such a huge part of my life.
In February 2024, I defended my Ph.D. and moved to Copenhagen the following month to begin my research position. I was following college ball in the U.S. as well as the WNBA draft, which, again, reignited my unresolved emotions. However, seeing these players wrap up their college careers with endings they had written on their own terms and begin new stages of their basketball stories sparked something in me. Seeing the world of basketball move on without me finally made me realize that I wasn’t ready to let it pass me by; it allowed me to finally see that my own career wasn’t done. Not knowing much about basketball in Denmark, I found B3B through a quick online search and made my way to the first training as soon as I possibly could.
The past few months with B3B have been an enormously emotionally healing time period for me. Reconnecting with basketball in this new way is helping me heal the emotional wounds of my injury and the abrupt ending to my career and my identity that have been lingering since 2018. Simply put, it has made fall in love with the sport all over again.
Playing basketball again and being a part of this club hasn’t just given me a part of my life back — it has given me a part of myself back. I’ve spent five years longing for a proper goodbye to basketball, but B3B has made me realize that a proper goodbye to basketball was never needed; I’ll never have to say goodbye to it because it is — truly — a part of who I am.
I am so proud to play a small part in this greater community of B3B. Recent years have ushered in a completely new era of women’s basketball — one that is competitive, analytical, exciting, and, above all, respected. I look forward to continuing to play, learn, and grow with B3B and its amazing community members, and to continue writing the next chapter of my journey with basketball. Because if I’ve learned anything these past few months, it’s that my basketball story wasn’t over when I got injured and it certainly isn’t over now; in fact, it may only be just beginning. See you on court!
Samantha Delaney
B3B Women´s Nordvest Team 1
